Akatsuki and The Cursed Book
by Bleeping Bloop
Summary: Oh snap! An Akatsuki member has read the cursed book. Who is it? What is the cursed book? Crack! Rated T because Hidan talks.


"Where's that shit-head leader?" Hidan asked loudly. Kakuzu rolled his eyes and hoped someone didn't encourage him. The room seemed to get the message and everyone sat in silence. Konan started to get worried, Pein called the meeting a half hour ago and he still hasn't arrived. Just as she was leaving her chair, Pein walked in. He took a seat and sorted out some papers. _Something is different_ Konan thought. She knew that he always yelled for his subordinates to be quiet, even if they weren't talking.

"Well look who decided to finally get here! Ya know I got better things to do than wait for your slow ass!" Hidan yelled. Kakuzu flashed that same look. Apparently Pein didn't register it and flashed Hidan a glare.

"I was busy," He answered.

"Doing what? Being a leader, cuz it sure doesn't look like it," Hidan laughed. He held his hand up in the air waiting for a high five. Tobi reached over and gave him some.

"Hidan's so funny," Tobi giggled.

"No I have been doing something very important for the last week," Pein said looking at the group sternly. "I have been reading a book that made me ask myself a very important question." He stopped for dramatic pause looking around the let out a sigh.

"What question," Deidara asked, knowing he wouldn't leave until someone asked.

"A question about love, death and the state of the universe," Pein said pausing.

"What question," Kisame asked, sincerely engaged by Pein's speech.

"Team Edward or Team Jacob," Pein finished.

"You're kidding right?" Konan questioned.

"No! It's a really good book and once you read the first chapter you'll get hooked!" he pleaded. "It has everything! Love and really cool fights."

"I'm leaving. Call me when you decide to grow a pair," Konan said walking out of the door.

"She just doesn't understand the magic of it," Pein remarked. "As of now are new uniforms will have to have Twilight. I took the liberty of getting everyone a team Jacob or Edward shirt."

"Nothing says fear like a sparkling vampire," Deidara said.

"Kakuzu before you even mumble anything about money, they were on sale at wal-mart and are actually cheaper than our normal shirts," Pein said sternly.

Kakuzu was in a bind. His manlyness told him to send a Raiton Gian straight at those sissy shirts then beat his leader until he got his sense back. But his natural love of money didn't want him to waste those shirts. Plus, he would probably get his pay cut. "Give me the vampire," He mumbled.

"What about the members that chose not to wear shirts?" Hidan asked.

"Where it." Pein answered.

"Fuck that."

"Oh come on," Tobi chimed. "You and Mr. Edward are alike. Pale, like blood, immortal-"

"I'm nothing like that fucking pussy!"

"Okay Hidan's team Edward."

"These are so unartistic, un," Deidara noted holding a shirt as far away from himself as possible.

"That one's yours, nobody wants your drool," Pein stated.

"I want team Edward **no Jacob**. Fine Jacob," Zetsu said.

"Tobi wants Jacob so Tobi, Zetsu, and Senpai can be twins!" Tobi happily said.

Itachi was not happy about this. He knew his faithful reunion with Sasuke was drawing closer and he was not having the most epic battle of his life be in a Twilight shirt. He shot Pein a glare, testing his strength. Pein stared back equally as hard.

"How come there are no werefish," Kisame asked, trying to break the tension.

Pein still kept his glare on Itachi and answered, "because that's stupid." Pein leaned a little closer to Itachi and whispered, "so the lion fell in love with the lamb." Itachi's eyes flashed the word no and he stormed out of the room.

"Why the fuck does he get off the hook?" Hidan yelled.

"Don't worry. I already replaced all of his shirts. Let's hope he's on team Edward," Pein smirked.

"You truly are evil in the most mundane ways," Kakuzu commented.

"Now that we have our allegiances decided I want everyone to read the first book and meet me here tomorrow at nine."

"Why did we pick sides before we read the book, un?" Deidara asked.

"Because I'm the leader. Don't question me, just read."

* * *

Disclaimer Kishimoto Masashi owns Akatsuki. Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight.

A word from the person who wrote what you just read: I have never read twilight and the only information I have is from professor Wikipedia so feel free to correct me. Anonymous reviews are on so you have no excuses muhahahaha!


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